Monday, 13 December 2021

Monday 13th December - Roast Pig

 Welcome to another week of Dogvent, and the last week of school for my daughter, after she finally gets to return tomorrow.  She's looking forward to not being in the house any more, that's for sure, but for today we're making sure she's up to date with home school and making some cake for her lunchbox to cheer her up.  At times of peril, you can't beat some special delicious food to get you through...

Roast Pig (1862) Thomas George Webster

Oh, the excitement! Open the roast window! Okay, I have so many questions, so let's start with 'roast window'...

There appears to be a chap turning up with a roast on his head.  Is this a thing? If I open our front window around lunchtime, will this bloke turn up, helpfully transporting roasted pork to those who need it? Is this what the shop Roast Out do? The kids look really excited, and may I add that is a lovely window.

Obviously the dog is extremely excited. Blossom can barely cope if there is roast meat in the house, so I completely recognise this border collie's look of astonished awe. Hurrah for the roast window! It's a cooked-meat-related miracle!

Waiting at the dinner table with only a loaf of bread, is most of the family.  One child is excitingly telling grandma that the roast is coming, another is attempting to get the door open.  Fear not, small child, the roast window has been deployed and the pork shall be delivered that way! A golden hair moppet is standing on his chair in order to get a better look and the baby is freaking out as it is almost roast time!

I had to squint really hard to see if the mother of the family was actually happy about the imminent roast.  Her body language doesn't look delighted, if I'm honest.  She looks like she's just been given some really bad news like her son's just died in a freak threshing machine accident. I zoomed in and I think there is a ghost of a smile but that is not in the spirit of the roast. Come on, cheer up, someone is about to shove half a roast pig through your window! Hurrah!  Unless of course Mum is a vegetarian, then I guess it's understandable. Maybe she's realised that they do not have enough chairs, so she's going to be left to eat her roast standing again. T'uh typical. 

Before I leave the roast family, I have a question - why is everything so high up? The mantelpiece is high and all the pictures are high up too. Look at where the coat and hat are hanging...

How on earth do you fetch your coat down from up there - if the door is six foot at least, the coat pegs are higher than that. I can understand if you have a big hearth, you'd have a high mantel but it seems a bit mad to hang your little pictures above.  The children will have to wait until they are adults before they can see any of the pictures in the room.  Never mind, maybe the arrival of the roast will ensure everyone grows tall enough to be able to reach the door handle and get outside. No wonder the dog looks excited...

See you tomorrow.

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