tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post8983175889959337421..comments2024-03-25T18:27:37.374+00:00Comments on The Kissed Mouth: Time Makes Tragedy Of Us AllKirsty Stonell Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-48440700367739212592015-10-18T18:53:49.584+01:002015-10-18T18:53:49.584+01:00Ha! Thanks Grace. The struggle against aging is a...Ha! Thanks Grace. The struggle against aging is aging in itself, far better to keep your health and smile a lot.Kirsty Stonell Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-59490455345399518062015-10-18T18:14:19.739+01:002015-10-18T18:14:19.739+01:00I'm inclined to think that whoever told you th...I'm inclined to think that whoever told you that "you looked it" was simply envious. You look thoughtful and mysterious in that photo, and I think it's a lovely picture.<br /><br />As a younger woman, the women I look up to as beautiful are all my older female relatives. They take care of themselves, but not in the way women obsessed with looking young do. They are simply healthy, and their character is what allows me to notice how beautiful they are. If they were vicious, I would think them repellant regardless of how young they looked.Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10147916047948858714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-15091913804691318762015-10-12T05:30:17.065+01:002015-10-12T05:30:17.065+01:00Really, really late in reading your post....but, l...Really, really late in reading your post....but, like many others, I am very relieved that Fanny's picture was not as dreadful as I'd feared. She does looks anxious, however, and I note how she's holding the finger of one hand in sort of a nervous way. How could she not be anxious, having been shifted from one place to the other in her later years? Her eyes are not wild, but clear and focused. She's sitting very straight, which I find an interesting contrast to her rough, plain dress. I'm imagining that posture as a remnant of better times. The saddest element of the picture to me is that lace collar sitting cockeyed around her neck. Did she put it on? Thanks so much for sharing the picture now, Kirsty.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11392282234840071703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-7041160854210203712015-10-03T07:37:08.846+01:002015-10-03T07:37:08.846+01:00Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I have my...Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I have my mother to thank for the fact that I don't automatically judge anyone by the way they look, as I never heard her say a bad word against anyone's age or weight. Equally I am blessed to know older women who are full of wonderfulness and are living, not ageing, if you know what I mean.<br /><br />Thank you everyone, this has been a very interesting conversation indeed...Kirsty Stonell Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-11993460079318117182015-10-03T07:17:53.016+01:002015-10-03T07:17:53.016+01:00Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And ...<br />Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,<br />And summer's lease hath all too short a date.<br />...<br />And every fair from fair sometime declines,<br />By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;<br />But thy eternal summer shall not fade,<br />Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,<br />Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,<br />When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.<br /> So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,<br /> So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.WoofWoofhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14142792485921452481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-48704896695588655192015-10-03T07:05:03.759+01:002015-10-03T07:05:03.759+01:00Sorry I am always late with my comments! Men are o...Sorry I am always late with my comments! Men are on the surface shallow creatures. We do tend to judge on external appearance. However as one gets to know a person - something happens - the personality starts to shine through; the person you thought was plain suddenly starts to become more and more attractive while you start to notice faults in the pretty one who turns out to be quite dull. Also, that picture of you is beautiful - I don't see any wrinkles, and the eye shadow looks great. As for all these comments about women over 35, 40 etc I don't get it at all. Kate Moss looks far better now than she did when she was much younger. (And I don't understand how someone as ugly as Cara whatshername ever got into modelling; maybe she has a great personality). My wife is 56 now and I honestly believe she is becoming more beautiful every year. I think that is the ideal - to meet someone when you're young(ish) and stick with them through life - you'll always be beautiful to them. I do feel for women who find themselves single in late middle age (does anyone else read mid life ex wife in the Guardian and her increasingly desperate quest for a man). I do think it is important for both men and women to try and stay fit and not to give up the battle with weight gain; and though you don't expect 40 year old + to dress like teenagers, don't be too quick to assume the boring, frumpy look. WoofWoofhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14142792485921452481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-90683568117028135352015-10-02T18:48:29.955+01:002015-10-02T18:48:29.955+01:00I agree! To be honest, the photo of older Fanny ac...I agree! To be honest, the photo of older Fanny actually reminds me of my grandmother! (right before she smiled) And I find that photo full of personality and charisma. What a character Fanny must have been in old age, despite her circumstances. Raine Szramskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13466243462355471330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-48397171642224996652015-10-02T05:32:41.568+01:002015-10-02T05:32:41.568+01:00Kate looks better than Cara..in my opinion....grea...Kate looks better than Cara..in my opinion....great smile and much more interesting face...love your blog.Marianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09432126721662541658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-10843380921960351322015-10-01T17:15:00.141+01:002015-10-01T17:15:00.141+01:00Well thank you very much, male reader number 3! I...Well thank you very much, male reader number 3! I shall keep calm and carry on...Kirsty Stonell Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-26686519830505724832015-10-01T17:13:00.544+01:002015-10-01T17:13:00.544+01:00Another male reader here. You have a beautiful , o...Another male reader here. You have a beautiful , open friendly face, with lovely warm brown eyes (which will never change). Your personality shines through your writing. You`ve got nothing to worry about. Keep up the good work.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14272136609757397169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-59780907626779554112015-10-01T07:28:19.271+01:002015-10-01T07:28:19.271+01:00Thank you everyone! Blimey, this happened last tim...Thank you everyone! Blimey, this happened last time I talked about age, it seems to be a subject that obviously touches us all and I get lots of very insightful comments.<br /><br />Indominable is a good word for Fanny's picture, she certainly doesn't look beaten by life. As Jan said, I believe there is a note about her dentures in her hospital records, hence the rather pursed expression.<br /><br />Thank you everyone for the comments, I have enjoyed reading them all, and sharing Fanny's final photograph with you has been one of the most touching things I've done here. On a side note, there should be a photograph from around 1900 in Delaware's archives as Fanny sent a picture to Samuel Bancroft which would be an interesting one to compare it with.<br /><br />Groovy Chick, I'm sure you look splendid, by the way. <br /><br />Thanks you everyone, and you all look gorgeous!Kirsty Stonell Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-22099424216406809822015-09-30T22:48:53.091+01:002015-09-30T22:48:53.091+01:00I hope I age into a Granny Weatherwax or Professor...I hope I age into a Granny Weatherwax or Professor McGonagal; witchy and fierce! I'm edging closer to 30, now I've got my own home, a mortgage, etc. and am simultaneously back studying, surrounded by all these fresh-out-of-school youngsters, I'm starting to realise that I'm not an eternally youthful vampire, and I will eventually.The HouseCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07783576090040274742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-1415854253727646902015-09-30T21:54:31.648+01:002015-09-30T21:54:31.648+01:00That you have written on this topic today is parti...That you have written on this topic today is particularly interesting in the timing for me personally. <br /><br />My family tends toward prematurely gray hair, and I started coloring mine when I was in my mid-20's. I just turned 50 this year and decided, as an experiment, to grow the color out enough to have it completely cut out as soon as I could without resorting to a scalping. So, my last visit to the colorist's chair was while I was still 49, shortly before my birthday in April. <br /><br />Yesterday, after work, I got my hair cut into a very short pixie cut (a la Jamie Lee Curtis). The first person who was shocked was me! I immediately posted a photo to my Facebook where I was looking for reassurance. Unlike many people, I only accept actual friends as my "Facebook friends" and I was immediately reassured that I looked wonderful. <br /><br />This morning I arrived to work only to receive a lot of second looks. Although I've received many positive responses, it's interesting to see how many don't remark on it at all. The change is pretty startling, so I know it's not that they didn't notice. <br /><br />As for myself, the jury is still out as to how I feel about being confronted with the fact that I really do look older. While inspecting my new appearance in the bathroom mirror last night, I suddenly noticed wrinkles under my eyes. Had they been there all along? Probably, but the salt and pepper hair makes it less easy to ignore them. <br /><br />I'm going to stay this way for at least a month before I decide on whether to go back to coloring. It will be an interesting experiment for sure. A Groovy Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09839801125799338376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-9498434855840244682015-09-30T21:43:01.467+01:002015-09-30T21:43:01.467+01:00I think Fanny looks remarkably self possessed and ...I think Fanny looks remarkably self possessed and proudly erect. The photo is sad only because of the context.anthony michael carterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17980954144014243555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-60060441960491413652015-09-30T19:11:45.021+01:002015-09-30T19:11:45.021+01:00missing teeth are the clue
that mouth is seen in...missing teeth are the clue <br />that mouth is seen in so many old photos<br /><br />apart from that, though, for someone over seventy suffering from dementia she looks remarkably good and well, even dignified - upright, plump, neat hair and nice lace collar. it's plainly a mugshot like a passport image today, not any kind of carte-de-visite much less an art photo like those posed by DGRJan Marshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09241928547754184216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-82546967041159336012015-09-30T14:38:38.701+01:002015-09-30T14:38:38.701+01:00As one of your two gentlemen readers, I must say y...As one of your two gentlemen readers, I must say your piece on aging is poignant and insightful. I suppose art by its very nature throws into relief the disparity between our aging selves and its unchanging patterns, "all breathing human passion fat above that leaves a heart high sorrowful and cloyed" as Keats would have it. Tennyson's "Tithonous" expresses this theme from a male point of view, though I suppose Eos represents the timelessness of art as well as female beauty. But, in any case, women are beautiful at every stage of their lives. Thanks as always for your thoughtful illuminating comments leavened with that inimitable puckish humor that even on somber topics makes us smile, like Mozart's music, through our tears.stephen gurneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02625183589216478878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-60466525769651224902015-09-30T11:22:30.449+01:002015-09-30T11:22:30.449+01:00Ah Horus, I should have known I could rely on you!...Ah Horus, I should have known I could rely on you! Thank you for your very interesting comments indeed. I often ask Mr Walker (who, although younger than me, is now 40) what he thinks of adverts for skin cream and the such like and he shrugs and declares it all 'man jollop' that is only beneficial if you are worried about the size of your wallet.<br /><br />You are right to say that male celebrities can come in for a bashing as well - maybe its about aging with dignity or appropriately, whatever that might be. It seems a very narrow tightrope to walk if you want to appear distinguished and still attractive. I'll stop before I start rambling and telling you about my massive crush on Donald Sutherland.<br /><br />Thanks for your comments.Kirsty Stonell Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-8251879584857594312015-09-30T11:11:47.364+01:002015-09-30T11:11:47.364+01:00Hi Kirsty In reply to your request for a male pers...Hi Kirsty In reply to your request for a male perspective. I was having a chat with an old friend I had not met up with for many years. During the conversation the subject of age came up. We came to the consensus, to our amusement, (you've got to laugh); that although we still felt like twenty five we had to be careful who we for example smiled at. For instance that twenty something attractive young woman you passed in the train and gave your most devastating grin/gurn to might feel repulsed or threatened by what she probably perceives as a leering old git.<br /><br />Really I think if you are not George Clooney or Julianne Moore, we're all in the same boat. I think it is the different ways in which men and women self perceive themselves. I think what we are suffering from is the effects of tabloid/celebrity culture. Forcing people to react to ageing as if it was unatural and something to be shunned.<br /><br />Personally on a very positive note (luckily for me), I find a lot of women around my age attractive, (and I close with a list of gorgeous 'older' actresses, simply because because they are in the public eye and everyone knows them). Judi Dench, Penelope Wilton who looks remarkably like my missus, Francesca Annis, Eileen Atkins, Helen Mirren (of course), My list could go on, and I'm sure that you will have noticed that none of the above, to my knowledge, have had any surgery. Oh and the most glamourous elderly lady of all time Honor Blackman.<br /><br />Oh and before I forget, it's my age you know, look at the way once handsome male celebs are and were treated by the media. For example Keith Richards, Peter O'toole, Richard Burton and Ollie Reed. They couldn't wait to print unflattering images of those lads as they aged badly. Maybe those boys pretended not to care and that's probably the difference. Women care openly, the men keep it to themselves and self delude.<br />Sorry about that being so long and rambly. Yours was a very good post though.Horushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11286711154276098549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-71200783804144214592015-09-29T20:23:05.199+01:002015-09-29T20:23:05.199+01:00Honestly, after the people who've spoken of th...Honestly, after the people who've spoken of the final photo as devastating, this is not at all what I expected. The first word that came to my mind was "indomitable."<br /><br />Whether it's in contrast to the slightly disheveled, hunted and haunted thing I had conjured in my mind, I don't know, but to me Fanny here seems clear-eyed and steely. I hope to leave half as solid a final impression.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12521352135257689565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-6055476925767922142015-09-29T17:25:31.442+01:002015-09-29T17:25:31.442+01:00My sister is the beautiful one in my family, and I...My sister is the beautiful one in my family, and I have never for a moment envied her that. The constant male attention would have driven me mad (I'm a lesbian, so there's that), and it hasn't made her life easier. Now that she's 50 and dealing with wrinkles and the various effects of gravity, you'd think that the end of days was at hand.jennifer from pittsburghhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12188641511998447474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-39883761404091992732015-09-29T17:14:28.778+01:002015-09-29T17:14:28.778+01:00Thank you, it is a subject I recognise immediately...Thank you, it is a subject I recognise immediately when I hear it in modern culture (the article about 'brave' Kate Moss just made me cringe) but I wonder how much I miss it when we talk about art and artists' models. We have a visual language which is complicated and very ingrained in our society equating beauty with goodness and youth with beauty and so on. I don't think men have it quite as strict as women do, but if any of my gentlemen readers would care to comment, I'd be interested to hear...Kirsty Stonell Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-76894200398614440372015-09-29T16:54:59.650+01:002015-09-29T16:54:59.650+01:00I loved this post so much, Kirsty. So much pressu...I loved this post so much, Kirsty. So much pressure is put on women to stay youthful. There are multiple examples of men in the film industry who still get the leading man role despite the fact that they have aged. Yet their leading ladies remain in their twenties and the actresses who really could have played their love interest are relegated to grandmother roles! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-37764369533866252632015-09-29T16:47:13.849+01:002015-09-29T16:47:13.849+01:00Thank you ladies, for your insightful comments. Yo...Thank you ladies, for your insightful comments. Youth and weight both seem to be things to beat women with and as I am losing control of both (not that I had much of a grip on the latter anyway) I am increasingly aware that I have to either opt-in to the battle or have the confidence to see there is another way.<br /><br />Lynda, I suspect you may well be right...Kirsty Stonell Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342964877965021654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-51205738502338139332015-09-29T16:38:43.499+01:002015-09-29T16:38:43.499+01:00I'm reminded of the old song 'nobody wants...I'm reminded of the old song 'nobody wants a fairy when she's 40' - sad, but true. I'm old enough now not to want to be sexy and people are nice to me because i'm a sweet old lady who isn't a threat.<br />Perhaps those beautiful models look miserable in later life because they had no teeth left. Just saying.Lynda (Granny K)https://www.blogger.com/profile/00769451312708886145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1441164155286448763.post-90827855714432219002015-09-29T15:02:21.234+01:002015-09-29T15:02:21.234+01:00Dear Kirsty
I don't like getting older, seeing...Dear Kirsty<br />I don't like getting older, seeing the ever increasing wrinkles where there were none before, or the layers of squishiness increasing around the midriff. It is depressing, but, as you say, it happens to all of us. I wish the media wasn't so youth and beauty obsessed. I'm amazed that any woman over 35 dares to go out in broad daylight - what are we all thinking? (However, men do seem to be able to 'get away' with being older and still thought attractive...Hmmph!) <br />Thank you for including the photograph of Fanny - it is hard to see the shadow of her former self in that face, but equally, I applaud her tenacity and stoicism. Beauty will eventually fade, despite the makeup or botox and what we have remaining is the force of character and personality we possess. <br />I applaud all of us 'older people'.<br />Best wishes<br />Ellie Ellie Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12437259693600577503noreply@blogger.com